Embrace Who You Are, Run Better Restaurants

Editor’s note:Communal Table，一个在食品行业放大第一人称声音的论坛。亚搏电竞我们的目标是与领导者长期合作，以创造更人性和可持续的工作场所。我们鼓励餐厅和酒吧工人和所有者在这里写作并分享他们的经验：kat.kinsman@meredith.com。有关于如何使行业成为更安全，更好，更可持续的工作场所的想法吗？也请分享。我们将编辑并发布一些条目亚搏电竞foo亚搏电竞dandwine.com。

阿什利·克里斯滕森（Ashley Christensen）是厨师的所有者交流餐厅在北卡罗来纳州罗利。这篇文章是根据她在她的演讲中改编的2019 SFA冬季研讨会并与肉汁季度。特别感谢Sara Camp Milam和John T. Edge。

Who am I? This question has been on my mind since writer and activist Julia Turshen interviewed me for her podcast,Keep Calm and Cook On!。We talked about theyabo sports官网 ， 平等，self-care,work-life balance， 和爱。她问我的最后一个问题是：“你怎么识别？”我自信地说：“我是阿什利·克里斯滕森（Ashley Christensen）。”

Afterward, my answer haunted me. It reminded me of how I feel every time someone asks me, “What’s it like to be a woman chef? What are the challenges of cooking in an industry dominated by men?” It’s how I feel when someone introduces me as “one of the best women chefs in the country” or invites me to cook a “women chef’s dinner” alongside a group of badasses I know will work smoothly, neatly, without ego, and in harmony. In these moments, the word “women” feels like a marketing tool. I feel diminishment alongside the pride, because the accolades are contextualized by gender. My male peers never have to deal with that.

在我的职业生涯中，我通过行动解决了我对这些问题，问题和标签的想法，但是朱莉娅的问题向我表明，让我让作品说明自己的方法存在缺点。

Unlike the experience of many women in our industry, overtsexual harassmentwas absent from my journey in kitchens, and this was in large part due to the leadership and vision of the people in charge. As a defense, I was careful to not to say or do anything that would separate me from others in the room, whether by gender, sexual orientation, or beliefs and opinions. I put my head down and worked.

开设我的第一家餐厅普尔的晚餐, was the hardest thing I’d ever done professionally, but it also cemented my leadership approach. I worked like crazy to make it all come together, pushing myself to lead a scrawny but passionate team, and working alongside them with fervor to create an experience for our guests. I maintained my easy-to-digest persona, both to guests and to my team. It was genuine, and it dovetailed with my greatest professional goal of creating spaces that make people feel comfortable. But it wasn’t a complete picture.

普尔（Poole）跑步了几年后，我决定开设一个新项目，比斯利的。我发现了一个令人难以置信的空间,但它佤邦s bigger than what I needed. The owner was willing to split it up, but I decided to take the whole space, and create three separate concepts.

在三个月内，我从管理约25名员工到100多名员工。我承担了120万美元的债务，由SBA贷款和私人投资组成，从两名妇女组成。在外面，我全都是微笑和力量。我从社区及其他地区受到了很多关注。我感到有责任继续我多年来一直在培养的角色：受工作的热情和相关和动机。

在我作为企业主的大部分时间里，我都是独奏运营商。作为我的“力量和积极性”叙述的一部分，我肩负了可怕的风险，昂贵的错误和失望。我不愿意分享与任何人的困难。在Beasley's开幕之后的几年中Chuck’s， 和Fox，我陷入了自己的抑郁症。

My coping strategy for feeling completely overwhelmed, incapable, unworthy? Open more restaurants. The problem with defining your self-worth through work is that it can propel you into a cycle in which you avoid something by moving on to a new, all-encompassing challenge. Two years after those projects opened, we opened Joule, a coffee shop. Two years later, in 2015, we openedDeath & Taxes(whichFood & Wine被选为2016 Best New Restaurant)还有一个两层楼的活动空间，称为Bridge Club。我们同时开设了一个小卖部厨房，以帮助餐馆和活动业务服务。

It was a time of incredible growth, and that was the outward message that I shared with the world. On the inside, I was overextended in every way—mentally, physically, and financially. The company, too, was showing symptoms of this illusion-based thinking. We made mistakes, and things felt out of control.

我不会那么戏剧性地称其为岩石底部，但是我确实到达了一个我知道我必须进行根本性转变的地方，否则我会失去自己以及我所做的工作。我不得不寻求帮助并抬起面纱。我必须接受自己感到虚弱，脆弱或冒犯性的部分。其中包括拥抱我作为一个女人（特别是同性恋女人）的身份，以一种更富裕，更实现的方式。我不得不积极地大声索取这些事情。

这是一个过程。仍然有时候我发现自己张起了前线。但是，由于一支非常有爱心，聪明，勤奋的团队以及生活中敬业的伙伴（实际上是未婚夫），我在领导力方面变得更好，而且作为一个人更加满意。这导致了我如何领导的重新调整。力量虽然仍然很重要，但却为其他素质和行为带来了空间，例如信心和透明度。我与脆弱性结合了积极性。

在过去的两年中，我对自己的团队，家人和朋友一直更诚实，而不是我梦dream以求的。我对我不知道的知识很容易受到伤害，并邀请有能力的人参加决策表来帮助我。我有信心说出可能并非所有人都流行的事情，但对我和我的价值观非常重要。最重要的是，我为我的业务做出了三个核心承诺。

I restructured the company so I could actively mentor and motivate the team. If I hadn’t come to terms with myself, I would have had a hard time accepting that I couldn’t and shouldn’t do it all. This new approach is working, by all the metrics that matter to me. It’s made me realize that there is power in vulnerability.

我没有从真空中弄清一切，而是尝试从“让我们开发一个对我们不仅有用的系统”的角度来解决问题。”我一直直言不讳地创建和维护所需的工作安全的工作场所，我一直在质疑我们的行业衡量成功的方式。

虽然我永远不会将候选人的海报挂在我的餐厅门上，但我已经意识到，某些问题在其核心是人权问题。我不能再保持中立。我们的客人为我们提供生计，使我们受到启发，并使我们对我们的任务负责。我们为他们提供舒适，帮助他们庆祝和交流，并将他们推向更具包容性的社区观念。如果他们不想被推，他们不必与我们建立关系，没关系。

我最喜欢的是，如果没有各种声音的观点和承诺，包括女性，有色人种，移民和性别非二进制人士，就无法实现这些诺言。

我将无法以任何有意义的方式设置这条道路，而没有先对我的某些部分曾经感觉像是一种弱点的信心。我希望，通过找到自己的声音并使用它，说出我的实践以及为什么不怕屈辱或骚扰的原因，它将鼓励其他人也这样做。

I’m Ashley Christensen, I’m a gay woman, I’m a leader, I’m a voice and a catalyst for positive change, and I’m an employer of many badasses who will be a part of making our industry the best version of itself—I promise.